Saturday, November 6, 2010


*slow  motion run for charger*

My internet has decided to break.

10 years ago, this would of been a mere annoyance, given that you would have to phone up, be left frustrated hanging on hold for endless eternity and the nuisance of an engineer coming to your house. These days, however, there is a whole other aspect to the dodgy internet scenario: panic. 

I went online (when it seldomly decides to work) to look up "how to live without internet". What did I find? Not how to live without it, oh no, that would be unthinkable, I found out how to get internet if your internet is not working. eHow's first piece of advice is to locate free WiFi spots, not: just get on with life offline, you pseudocode-ing binary addict!

This is the society we live in today. We need it, like an addiction to cake or worse, heroin. It's insatiable. I'm not sure what it is we're addicted to on there, be it social networking or our hungry appetite for information. Gossip, gaming, education, stuff. Anything it would seem. I know I, myself, have a sick addiction to Wikipedia. Literally name anything, and I think I'd of read about it on there. (And yes, I am aware it is not reliable before anybody comments - but it's addictive none the less). What's not to get addicted to? An entire collection of random, entirely useless trivial knowledge that leaves you slightly perplexed, yet still googling away for more. Perhaps I'm more of a collect-o-maniac than fact-o-maniac. Hoarding trivia until one day I can pipe up with a fact or figure and get little to no kudos for knowing it. Inside however, I'll be smiling.    

Our digital obsession doesn't even end there. The same delirium would break out if mobile phone signal were to die, or even worse, if your battery were to die - cue tension building orchestral music. That sheer un-contactable panic. I know I've felt it myself while travelling and thought: this is when I'll die, nobody will ever find me - I'll die right now, here, alone, and never be traced because nobody can contact me. But with hindsight, I'm not sure who I would call if I were to die, or what I'd say. "Hi mum, just a quick voicemail to say I've died, bye!"

Silly really isn't it? 


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