Juteopolis: Urgh

This is going to be a big post, so brace yourself. I need to get it off my chest.

Tonight, it was my leaving party shenanigans from a much loved job in a bar. I'd worked there a little over two years, and loved (nearly) every moment of it. I've met some of my closest friends there and the rest of them, well, they aren't so bad either. Being a sociable bunch, a slightly raving mad bunch, and a general good laugh, I had looked forward to going out with a bang this evening, as I am one of the more colourful members of staff, so to speak!

However! Due to University commitments I left the celebrations, well, early to say the least. I caught the bus at 10.55pm. How Rock'n'Roll of me. I'm just so wound up about deadlines, sketches, images, research, books, images, deadlines, presentations, scans, deadlines, did I mention...DEADLINES?

"I want my presentation to be good,
and I want it done NOW!"

There was an old lady on my bus on the way home, who was crying. I felt so bad. Then I wondered what I would be like at her age. I wondered if she was crying because she messed up a project at University, which lead to her not getting her exchange opportunity, therefore employers didn't see anything extra special such as an exchange on her C.V. - so due to all that, was doomed to a life working in a bar in Dundee, and retiring with her free bus pass and hating her life. Life can snowball like that, after all. Right now, I know I'm being a melodramatic drama queen, but it's how I get things done. Assume the worst, over anticipate, over plan, and it works out. Because it has to.

1. Make list
2. Tick off making list
3. Tick off, ticking off making list..

I tried to take the bull by the horns early on in this project to make sure things were delegated into manageable task loads, thinking that, in the long term things would pan out evenly, allowing for a smooth decent towards the presentation. Boy, did I get that wrong.

See, I always make lists. Plans. Lists of what to eat this week. Lists of things to remember the following day. Lists of things around the house needing done. Lists of lists. And so on. This usually means I can calmly manage my time and not worry about my deadline so much. In fact, the last project during the previous term, I was completely finished and had my presentation pinned up 2 whole days in advance, leaving some relaxing time for a pint.

Clearly, this is not common practice.

"I want 10 new strands of these
tiger hairs sewn in, or Rocket Man
is coming off the set list! "

I feel like Elton John, taking a hissy fit and refusing to go on stage because the lights are not the correct angle, or I have 3 (of my 12 actual) strands of hair out of place. But jokes aside, I really am so stressed. I'm getting bitter, nasty, snappy, bitchy and the rest. It's like trying to keep a lid on an extremely volatile can of worms, and I'm terrified of the inevitable explosion. It's not a matter of if, but when.

The clocks ticking!

kaboom!